You can be a kind person, with a good heart, who is generous, loves and cares about others and still say “No.”

For the last couple of years, I’ve made my News Years’ resolutions to say “no” more often. Along with other goals like less screen time on my iPhone or using a beauty product until it’s empty.

But now in this life, as a new wife, a young business owner, a future professor and becoming a student again…. I’m going to actively make it a point to take control of my life and say “no thank you” more often.

If you ever need some self-love or inspo, @StacieSwift is here to help.

At a former job, I felt like I had to say “yes” all the time just because I didn’t want to communicate with my boss and instead of saying “yes” and meaning it, I was being totally passive aggressive and I didn’t like it. So I took a risk and made a change, and I wish I had done it sooner.

In other instances, I’ve felt like I had to say “yes” because I don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings or open up a can of worms, per se.

But then am I being true to myself? I kind of can’t stand when people say “living my truth” because I think it can sound cliché (no offense) but if I keep accommodating others at the expense of my happiness, needs or personal growth, am I living my truth?

Think of all the pressure out there these days…

Pressure to post and make it look like you love your life (which I do, but there are also times when I want to curl up in bed and binge on Bravo, dreaming of being someone else).

Pressure to buy the shoes, to look the part.

Pressure to have a glass of wine just because someone else is.

Pressure to please your partner, family and friends and even colleagues and clients.

There is beauty in being conservative. It’s green, it’s sustainable and it’s nice. And it can be for yourself.

So here I am now, and this was written at 11 o’clock on Halloween night, the first day I spent as a 25 year-old (for the fifth year), running my own little marketing firm, laying in bed next to my snoring husband and I absolutely love everything I’m doing.

And I have to give myself credit. And I also need to breathe.

So I’m going to make it a point to put myself first (and my husband and my blossoming business) and say “no.”

And I hope that you can forgive me.

And I hope that you can also find the courage to say “No.”

And I hope you know that it’s okay to still say “Yes.”

With love, 

Erika 

credit: @StacieSwift